This Father's Day

THIS Father's Day

"A father’s success greatly depends upon his ability to love and be loved."

     This Father's Day will be the first I celebrate without my dad. He passed away in a hospital earlier this year at the age of 81. I miss him. His last days were not pleasant; he fought pain and dementia. It was hard to have him leave this world, though none of us wanted to see him continue on in pain.
     I am grateful for the positive things my dad taught me while he was alive: to have integrity and self-confidence, to be kind to others, to work hard, and to never give up no matter how difficult things get. No, he was not a perfect parent, but neither was I. The two important things we have in common are that we tried to do the very best we could for our kids within our circumstances, and we both love our kids completely and unconditionally. I know my dad loved us. He loved his wife, his kids, his grandkids, and great-grandkids with a big heart. I am grateful for that love.
     We indeed feel a person's absence strongly, and we appreciate a relationship much more after the fact. So, for those of you who still have a loving father on this earth, spend some time with him. Appreciate his presence in your life now. Give him a hug, a call, a bit of your time. A father who loves you and tries his best is a precious gift.
     Happy Father's Day to all the hardworking, loving fathers out there and to the ones we miss who watch over us from heaven.

―Richelle E. Goodrich

Happy Father's Day

Dad, Richelle, Mom

     Over the years I've learned many things from my father. He has been there for me and my boys throughout our lives. I am grateful for his hard work, his generosity, and some lessons learned. Here are probably the top ten things I learned from him, last to first:

10. Coats belong in the closet. Salt and pepper belong on the table.
9. Everything should be celebrated afterwards with ice cream.
8. You don't pick the winning team in football based on their jersey colors.
7. YES, you can do anything, but NO, you're not better than anyone else.
6. Parents don't flap their jaws just to hear themselves talk.
5. John Wayne is king, ruler, chief, icon, superhero, and the last real man to have set foot on this earth.
4. The world is full of opinions; yours is the one that matters most.
3. There are a lot of idiot boys my age.
2. If you can't look yourself in the eye standing in front of the mirror, you better fix the reason why.
1. No matter what—you are loved. (Unless, of course, the salt and pepper don't make it to the table.)

Happy Father’s Day, Dad!!

I Learned from my Father

      Lately, my house has been a frenzy of graduation prepping, picture taking, formal ceremonies, and congratulatory parties. I am blaming all of this wonderful craziness for allowing Father's Day to sneak up on me. So here I stand on the threshold of Father's Day, realizing I have yet to write down any personal thoughts. No better time than the present.

     It seems to me that much of what we gain from a father—what we learn from him—comes through observing the way he lives his life. What I wrote two years ago I still believe to be true.

"The greatest lessons I learned from my father didn't come from lectures or discipline or even time spent together. What has stuck with me is his example. From watching, I chose whether to be or not to be like him."
— Richelle E. Goodrich, Smile Anyway

     Example is a mighty teacher, but that was not all my father offered me. He was good for words of advice that fell from his mouth more than once. One of his top maxims helped solidify my self-confidence at a young age: "Do your best and nothing less." He told me this when I first started school, and I took those words to heart, believing on some internal level that it was my duty. As a result, I put forth my best effort in school and in developing budding talents. That full effort to "do my best" made my accomplishments more impressive than they might have been otherwise. In the process, I earned compliments and recognition that bolstered my developing confidence. Thanks to my father, I have seldom considered any goal above my ability to achieve.

     Another repeated word of advice I heard often was "Don't waste your time worrying about what other people think of you. So long as you can look yourself in the eye every morning with a clear conscience, that's all that matters." I will admit, criticism and praise both affect me. Words have that power over most human beings. But this advice from my father did help develop a most unique and useful ability. I take criticism and hold it apart from me like a book which I read and evaluate and then toss aside if my own opinion differs. Likewise, I have learned to treat praise in a similar manner, appreciating kind words but then setting them aside rather than internalizing what might puff up my ego. My father taught me to form my own opinions and to be true to them. People will enter and exit my life, but I am eternally stuck with me. So, as Shakespeare declared, "To thine own self be true." I do not mean in an egotistical or selfish manner, rather showing sincerity and goodness to oneself. The same as you show to others.

     I recall one day coming home from work—one of my first jobs after high school—and grumbling to my father about how difficult the work was and how my boss wanted a greater amount of production from me than I felt able to give. I wanted to quit. And why not? I was unhappy. The job was a menial position that could easily be replaced by another. Why return to more days—weeks—months of having to endure criticism from a grumpy boss? My father set the bar for me at that moment, one I would sustain for the rest of my life. He said, "You don't quit. Struggling at work, being unhappy, feeling disliked, enduring rebuke, or any other hardship that might come along is no excuse to quit. You get in there and you work hard. You make yourself reliable and teachable and available. And after all of that, if they fire you then fine—they fire you at your best. But you don't quit."

     So I went back to my lousy job and did as my father said. I worked hard. I learned to move faster. I found ways to make better use of my time. By the end of that year, my grumpy boss promoted me to assistant supervisor overseeing the other workers. I was given the task of scheduling hours and granted the power to fire and hire employees in certain positions. My father taught me that rewards do come to those who stay the course and endure well. You don't quit.

     There are many other things I learned from my father, other words of advice that helped shape my character. I won't list them all. I think I turned out alright by him. So I would like to say "Thank you, Dad" for the valuable lessons. I love you and wish you a very happy Father's Day.

Fathers and Trees

When I hear the word fathers I think of trees.  Perhaps because I see in trees the finer qualities all great fathers share.  

The obvious, their strength and sturdiness.  A tree will bear things thrust upon its branches without an uttered word of complaint.  Reaching limbs hold a person up, supporting him throughout many days and nights.  

A tree is rooted where it stands.  One never needs to glance repeatedly out a window to be sure it hasn't walked away.  It is planted firmly.  It is always there.  Its form may sway with the wind, but it never falters.

A tree is dependent upon sunlight; therefore, its majestic form reaches toward Heaven for nourishment.  It does not hide its need for the light, but flourishes beneath the sun for all eyes to see.

A tree bears fruit to feed others, even though it is unable to partake of the fruit itself.  It complains to no one.  And if called upon to sacrifice itself entirely in order to warm and protect another, it does so without a word of protest.

Trees shade and protect.  They shield us from the elements. I have never seen a child fear a tree, but smile up at its grandness, eager to climb into its arms and observe the world from a higher viewpoint.

One can talk to trees without fear or reprisal.  All secrets remain in a tree's confidence despite the passing of generations.  

Out of all God's creations, I admire most the mighty trees. They are a grand sight to behold, and as necessary to us as are fathers.

— Richelle E. Goodrich